The Other way Round…

Looser; defined in urban dictionary as a chump, lame, stupid, bitch, wanker, moron, retard… Wah!!! Those are just some of the few words that detail the exactness of the character that is in this profile. The Urban dictionary goes ahead to term a looser as someone who cannot spell ‘loser’… he heee… anyway, in commonness, looser is a terminology used to describe personalities who in their own sense believe are at the top of their game while in actual sense they are the direct opposite of their perceived situation… it is a term commonly used among a certain class of the fairer sex in description of their opposites who have not on a given occasion or several stood up to expectations… as per their intended standard…

Men have always lived with this tag years on end but a random conversation between me and my good friend Raymond* detailed the other day, women too… mostly fit the revised profile for the new looser in town. Our conversation was largely intended to focus on bitching about some women who largely frequented our lives the bigger portion of year 2009… yeah, I only have two more salaries and this year is sooooooo gone… We happened to have dated women at some point in 2009 who exhibited plenty of similarities which at the end of our conversation resulted to my thoughts of shaping this into a post to save my brothers… and sisters who intend to hit on these species now that partners sex choice is practically liberal in Nairobi these days.

So, Raymond…we shall refer to him as Ray… met this girl, let’s call her Vienna* several months ago while on his usual professional duties. You know, Ray being a Procurement officer at their company is naturally bound to have a good number of sales ladies sent his way to strike some possible deals, business deals to the benefit of both their institutions. Ray as we know him, happens to be one sharp dresser and his charm has more than often found him a way to more than a fair share of those sales ladies hearts… or is it skirts… so as usual, Ray was at the best of his charm when he met Vienna… a few business related discussions and the ice was broken with his trade mark jokes… this was quickly followed with cell phone numbers exchanged and enough hints much inclined to beer than coffee dropped… for sometime, Agenda Vienna was not keenly pursued. Certainly Mr. ray knew Vienna’s particular interest in actual business was going to bring her about…

A couple of weeks down the line, Vienna of course made a follow up visit at Ray’s office. The fact that she was in dressed to kills didn’t quite help the situation with. That tight, short black mini skirt exposing those extremely beautifully shaped… curved legs and that outstanding behind…completed with some red stilettos with a red marching blouse exposing the well endowed dashboard… complete with a sizeable amount of cleavage almost just got Ray shaking hands with “That’s a Deal”… but No, Ray is good… or so he thought… some drinks had to be introduced and some of ‘that’ had to come his way… he heee…

Anyway, they ended up sharing lunch… more like spending time flirting and giggling at some restaurant in town in the name of catching up. A number of lunches down the line and business was entirely forgotten… it was just food… and exchanging pleasantries. They quickly realized they were a couple… and from my very own experience… any man who knows he has the ‘ideal’ catch… the eye candy that will get the friends and associates drooling will definitely put it in every one of their faces to remind them just how much on point his game is… Well, as this happens, the man also is blinded, and the tendency to see and believe what they want is what forms most of his praises of the lady in question… but as Ray discovered over time… the characteristics defining the looser woman as per the conversation narrow down to the list below…

Part two… coming up…

‘Keep Your Eye On The Ball’

If you take an assumption and think about any sport that involves a ball…Lets take Basketball, Golf, tennis, Rugby… you know, any of those sports. Back when I was a sportsman and that is as far back as high school… and a few months ago when I stayed in a certain neighbourhood that had many lovers of basketball…The most fundamental, most basic and most important point in any of the ball oriented sports as the coaches have always put it is as simple as “Keep your eye on the ball!”

Even back to childhood… yeah, my parents were some sorts of hopeful (less?) romantics, and they always played badminton… seriously… BADMINTON… (Get your mind out of the gutter stupid…) and Tennis formed most of their sport at the backyard. They never forgot to stress the importance of  making so clear the importance of keeping the eye on the ball with regards to Tennis… and the cork (OK, now that sounds bad) for Badminton… It applied to me as a 5-year-old together with my little sister whom we fought much more than often back then as well as much as it applies today to seasoned professionals who have been seen to drop a ball in front of a television audience of millions because they took their eye off it like Rafael Nadal, Roger Federar, William Sisters and of course Maria Sharapova…below whose dropping of the ball has gotten my attention more than hitting the ball… mmmh, yeah, she also gets my attention seriously when she sighs heavily every time she hits that damn Tennis ball… I can only but imagine elsewhere. (Yeah am a Dude duh!!!)

 

That critical coaching point — keep your eye on the ball — is also the most basic and most important coaching point to getting what you want out of life. The vast majority of the coaching calls I witnessed as a member the 3^rd team of Mr. Were’s basketball team back in high school involved people who were frustrated with their results and who, almost without exception, took their eye off the ball.  In more “business-like” terminology as I have gathered over my career life so far; it is referred to as “they’ve lost their focus.” Whenever an employee, a manager, an associate or consultant takes the eye off the main objective they are there in first place, results generated are poor, off the timeline and several other people and missions are jeopardized.

Take an example of a foreign consultant being attached to a given company; let’s take a bank since I have quite some experience around then so far. A consultant will be attached be it for a re-branding exercise, deployment of a new E-banking software and such… most of them end up establishing much more than just professional relationships. Personal engagements result between them and that given sales lady… assigned to that project or that ICT assistant assigned to that other project. This result to sharing pleasantries in time designated for projects and in event that disagreements of a personal nature emerge between the two? Sabotage can not be ruled out… all this time, personal focus is being lost and the initial agenda of keeping their focus on the intended mission is lost.

In today’s tough economic times, just having skills is not enough. The people who are thriving have learned to produce more in less time by creating laser like focus and a sense of fearlessness that doesn’t allow anything to distract them from getting what they deserve. Developing this mind set is easier said than done.  What would happen in your life if you could use just one of these?

-          Centre yourself in less than 20 seconds, allowing you to focus on the task at hand

-          Build your confidence and find out how your sense of Self Worth can enhance your career and your life

-          Find time for projects (even when life gets in the way)

-          Turn fear into motivation (This is the same way top athletes transform their fears into a competitive advantage)

-          Create new neural pathways that empower you to replace poor time management habits with productive habits

-          Build an emotional “safety net” that automatically reduces your resistance to getting things done. (Create this safety net and you’ll be amazed at your new eagerness to do things now!  Yes – including job prospecting)

-          Create effortless motivation; willpower will not work long term

-          Eliminate conflicting goals and align yourself towards a common purpose

Anyway, just some thoughtful things that we keep ignoring time after time. Take for instance yours truly. I am largely known as the hands on guy… the planning wiz… and fairly the one guy who has capability to deliver and innovate beyond most basic abilities that we are blessed with. Well… I believe it’s not flattery, for real… I rise to the occasion in very demanding times and my solutions come in quite handy when things are glaringly falling apart. This doesn’t just happen in my career life… in my personal life too… in that on most occasional I spend my time trying to figure out solutions for existing problems for my loved ones and my associates. I advice and recommend plenty of ways out. On a personal basis, I have brilliant plans… on occasion when I share with a friend or a confidant; I get a sense of admiration. It is something I picked up from my old man I believe… and I have been getting frustrated much more often than not lately realizing that I am also not acting up on my plans as much as I would wish… just like papa.

This has thus necessitated me to get motivation and cultivate ways to realize my plans while I am still at a point where I can nature my plans and dreams into things practical… keeping my eye on the ball hence was this one motivation approach I read about and have since made it my anthem in the last few days. With getting my intents to focus one can achieve a lot more than just a plan. Even the bible… we get the impression that whenever we can just manage to remember and focus on the Lord Jesus Christ, we will forever remember that He died for our sins and with that we will always keep salvation within our reach, with the eye focused totally on the life the Bible promises us, we do everything possible to avoid sin and serve in the likeness of the Almighty… Wah!!! Si that has been spiritual!!! I hope The Almighty remembers that line when the final day comes… haki, si I have tried J

So folks… Keep your eye on the ball… keeps your intent in check… and whatever other distractions that may surface along the way, you will excel… and yeah… I am also trying, especially with getting myself a golf club membership… and learn to be like Tiger Woods…so that I can have more balls to focus on he heee…and I am remembering the Badminton, Tennis and basketball lessons I had growing up… adios!!!