QLC Realities

It has been a number of years since I started working/ completed my graduate studies, not many though. Many of the people I went to school with fall in the 24-30 year olds age bracket. A lot of water has gone under the bridge with some realities finally hitting most of us as of what really life holds for us after school and away from family, life fending for ourselves, making our own decisions and planning… living our futures.

There is a statement or an analogy if you like that I keep referring to whenever I want to measure my achievements and refer to my earlier made plans, the high school plan. When I was in high school, of course during my adolescent years, I had visions as to what I wished to become after school, the things I wanted to have and the life I wanted to mould for myself and my family, yet to be. I was lucky enough having gone to a school where we were mentored to study with focus on particular industries… I was somewhat lost back then. My argumentative and strong opinions nature pushed me towards legal preferences. One of my favorite Aunts was a hot shot lawyer or advocate if you like and so was my father’s friend with whom they studied with lengthily at high school and college. These two people always had a great influence on my actions, so to many I was destined to become an advocate. This never came to be…

After studies in Business Management and majoring in Finance, I joined the job market  as a management trainee at a certain bank… it was not long before I realized I was not quite going to pursue what I had studied, immediately. I found myself in ICT. It was an existing experience at first. With my fast learning ability I quickly fitted in the service based ICT department. The excitement did not last long. I started feeling discontent with myself, disconnect between my abilities, my qualifications and my plans. I had an identity crisis trying to really figure what I wanted to be and what I was becoming… I quickly enrolled for a Computer Science course which I crushed through to obtain papers to safeguard my place and have ground for my future. Trouble started immediately I finished my Computer Science Studies. Realization started sinking as I tried to figure what to do next. I felt I was doing something I was not comfortable doing, my plans were coming down crushing and I was lost…

This came coupled with lots of other troubles. Distance had quickly grown between me and my crew. The six of us had found ourselves occupied in different stuff, one was working in Kisumu, one in Eldoret, another worked on a night shift here in Nairobi and the final one lived in the air, he travelled a lot. Girlfriend troubles were becoming endless as was family restlessness.

A tip from a pal recently led me to Google, and I actually found out that what I dropped around as a joke on my drinking sprees has been researched and documented; Quarter Life Crisis (QLC) which according to Wikipedia is a term applied to the period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the early twenties to the early thirties. Symptoms are sighted as;

• feeling “not good enough” because one can’t find a job that is at one’s academic/intellectual level
• frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
• confusion of identity
• insecurity regarding the near future
• insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
• insecurity regarding present accomplishments
• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
• disappointment with one’s job
• nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
• tendency to hold stronger opinions
• boredom with social interactions
• loss of closeness to high school and college friends
• Financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipated high cost of living, etc.)
• loneliness
• desire to have children
• a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you

Much detail can be found @ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis

I would be lying to say I do not relate to some, most of these symptoms that identify with QLC. About half of them fall on my list and if it is anything to go by, each and every one friend of mine in my age bracket is going through most of them. My analogy is simple, if I am going through something; the logical thing is that everyone else I can relate to is going through this. I belong to the group that can be identified as recent graduates and recent managers… 24ish to 31ish…

I attempted to put it as my status on my Face book account just to see the kind of response that my friends would give. So I said Urbane is going through a Quarter Life Crisis… most wondered what it was all about as others associated it with an early midlife crisis… especially those we hang out with saying it was all about politicking, booze, money and women… which tend to identify mid life crisis more, I think. Eventually it died away as a joke of some sorts.

Just this week, three of my friends have gone through very difficult times. The difficult situations all relate to career and relationship decisions. It’s not surprising to note that many Kenyan youth are undergoing the same trouble. Most have invested heavily in school and education, joined the jobs and careers markets and found things quite different from what they hold in terms of expectations. There is huge discontent and disconnect particularly with the material they have gathered from school and the expectations that the employers have of them. Such can be identified whenever you read through a local daily, with job advertisements. You will notice most organizations seeking to employ graduate clerks. There is nothing glamorous with clerical jobs. Most end up applying for the jobs just to get something that can enable them fend for themselves in terms of rent, food and travel. Specifications for these jobs always are a first degree in any field and willingness to work anywhere… with terms and conditions of the said company applying. Most get excited with the jobs and their first salary, finally realizing some sort of fruits for what they went to school for.

Quickly, they realize that their Engineering, Legal or Medical studies have nothing to do with the basic records and sales jobs they are doing, with high targets to beat, meager salaries and less passion in the matters they handle. This sees most of us go through depression as we seek to find something we really want to do. I often see my assistant with envelopes around the corridors, trying to send CV’s all over, a confrontation the other day resulted to his confession that he is not feeling much challenge in what he does around the company anymore. He is looking for something that can push him over to the next level. I have been there done that, so as big brother I encouraged him to do his best at what he has and look out for something much more relative to his desires, we all are always doing that. Even that HR Manager who wants to keep you in the company has his/ her sights at a CEO’s or General Managers job somewhere.

There is a huge difference between what we really want and what really is there for us. Our expectations often are much higher than the opportunities that are available. All of us are always looking for something that we want, as we struggle to keep what we have, it is in human nature. The challenge that we face here, especially in the third world, Kenya for instance is the ability to reach for what we want. Our increasing abilities to be able to do and the diminishing opportunities available for each one of us to do result in this crisis, we all are dissatisfied… how we shall survive, I don’t know.