Random Hooks…

Idleness is not good… seriously. So the Monday is coming through really slow, at least mine and one of my ex clandes’; from the amount of time we are spending on chat talking about many stupid things, and a few constructive ones…

Anyway, I took these stupid flu-gone capsules in the morning to avoid the dry throat that usually indicates a tough cold attacking… now they sent me dizzy… insult to injury, I didn’t sleep well last night; been having lots of issues on my mind. So our chat goes on and on… with Ms. Clande, Ex, asking why I am never on the loose nowadays, why I don’t party much… why I never call anymore… and stuff… passing time when this topic for sleeping around during office hours checks in.

ME: feeling a little unwell…
HER: Whats up?
ME: dont know, just feeling a little under…
HER: kunywa red bull
ME: mmm, good idea…
HER: ama grab a snickers bar
ME: eeeh… that’s supposed 2 be what?
HER: U dont know snickers (Choc)
ME: aaah… now I get…
ME: haki am even dozing off…
HER: woi
HER: kwani u over indulged…..over the weekend?
hiyo ni hang over
ME: naaah… I was out on friday till ard 10pm…
sato is when I was out till 530am…
but jana I slept a lot…….
so it’s not that…….
HER: Okay
Uchovu ni kawaida on Monday…..
… am feeling sleepy as well
but najikaza kisabuni
ME: si then we can find somewhere we sleep 2gether… 4 company LOL!

It is prohibited (written in regulations), to fake reasons and leave office just to go and catch some quick rubs at that motel across the street, then take a rush shower.

See, catching up on some rubs when you don’t have a crib of your own can be a huge challenge. It can also be a challenge catching rubs with that office colleague that regulations prevent you to when the moto is very much there. It’s also a difficult one when you are in one of those relationships, married and such…it can also just be a nice way of actually making things more interesting with your other half… sneaky stuff is always sweet; be it chocolate picked off the shelves at the mall when cameras are off site, that beer you win once in a while when EABL swings some promotion or alighting from that matatu that robbed you 10/= last time without paying the full amount this time. Even some European footballer and the wife made out sometime back at the football pitch center one night…for the curiosity.

So is catching rubs work time. Val keeps busting her roomie with the lover in their kitchen, in the bathroom, living room… who knows, next time she could possibly find them in her bed… its exiting, seriously. So is leaving office in disguise of seeing a doctor, checking at the bank or taking some pass port photographs but instead finding means to catch rubs. It’s exciting.

You chat or exchange texts with the other subject for a number of minutes, probably exchanging more than pleasantries over there… an ignition of some sorts… especially on such a boring Monday Morning. Then you agree to link up at one of those motels along Tom Mboya Street (ones with nice rooms… and clean sheets he heee)… there is design with which this has to be done. You know, the way that street is full of people, just about anyone can spot you and establish what you are up to… everyone seems to be buying a DVD, a made in China phone or the 100/= sun glasses… so you have to be creative.

The idea is to arrive in just about the same time… a few minutes shy from each other… with the one ‘organizing the room’ arriving first. If you are lucky, most of the gents at work are fitted with condom dispensers to help save us. So you sort yourself out in that way, and then arrive on the said street in style… Usually admiring ‘stuff’ on sale at the stalls… the entrances to these joints are usually blocked, slightly by that certain stall. You check out that certain 98 in 1 DVD on sale as you calculate your move… in a matter of seconds, you divert from the main street and run up the stair cases to the booking lobby where bargains are usually witnessed from ‘like-minded’ characters… the other culprits…

You could witness a conversation like this:
CUSTOMER: Single ni ngapi?
CAHSIER: 700 per day…
CUSTOMER: Aiiiiiii… mimi nataka 45 minutes tu… ngapi?
CASHIER: Boss/ Madam, single ni mia saba kwa siku!
CUSTOMER: Hii ni ukora mtupu… shika hii (Ksh. 1000)… lete change (Assume a kiuk accent…)

It certainly indicates that you should have done research by the time you decide on your place of activity.
Anyway, you get to the room as you send your other one a text message quoting the room number. Immediately the other one checks in, phones are switched off… and the fun starts… a quick shower follows after…

You leave the premises the way you came in, separately… lady first (Assuming you were not a gay/ lesbian couple) LOL! But those relationships also have a ‘guy’ and a ‘chic’ right? Well, after ‘she’ has left… party two then leaves the room, of course with the keys to hand over to that sheepishly smiling cashier… You then pick some toothpicks and hit the streets… after all; you just had lunch, and are heading back to the office! Satisfied… with that I am the one swagger…

NOTE: I swear, I haven’t done this… seriously now, FOR REAL. Just my idle mind.